You know, for the most part, I think I'm getting it all wrong. By it, I mean life. And I don't really think anyone gets it right, technically, but I pretty much improv all my lines. Maybe fate is guiding what I say, but I don't think fate would be so ridiculous as to do some of the stuff I do.
But. . . there are little moments. I think everyone has them; those seconds where you say exactly what you mean, or where you're proud of yourself for doing something right or even just doing something. I had one of those a few minutes ago, and I wanted to write it down because it doesn't happen often, where I say exactly what I think and it comes out the way I want it to.
Someone asked me why I write. "Why do you write?" (pretty straightforward, no bullshit for once! and now you all know who asked me.)
This is what I responded with, and I think I hit the nail on the head. I mean, there are a lot of reasons why I write, or why anyone does anything, but this is probably a big one:
"Because I have things to say but not enough balls to write it in something other than doublespeak."
That response is not what I'm proud of, it's just the sad truth. But this person then added "Sometimes thoughts are better conveyed in the manner of writing rather than just saying it up front."
And here's where I'm proud of what I said. This is something I hope I remember.
"No. Sometimes thoughts are better heard not up front. I may not have the balls to say it, but not many people have the balls to hear it, either."
I'm not sure why I'm counting this as one of my shining moments, but I am. It was something I needed to say, especially to the person I said it to. But who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe I'm very very right.
Or maybe it doesn't matter at all.
lol
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