If I Were a Superhero...(yeah, we're going there.)

Don't tell me you haven't thought about it before. I know I have.

What if you were a superhero? What would you do? Who would you be?

I pretty much know exactly who and what I would be. So let's get started!

Powers (because that's really all anyone wants, isn't it?): The ability to inflict pain on someone. . . just by staring at them. Yes, it's epic, and no, I didn't think of it myself. Believe it or not, someone has actually told me that if I had a crazy power, this is pretty much what it would be. Now, this power is pretty dark, so I would cast a spell on myself that makes sure whatever pain I inflict, I feel half of that pain. It would keep me from killing everyone I wanted to kill (aka: a lot of people) and keep me from using this power whenever I wanted (aka: ALL THE TIME). This leads us to:

Name: I've been tossing this around for a very long time. The name I think would fit perfectly is more in line with a villain, so Deathstare (badass, I know) is out. I would have to then go with something like Glare or Scowl (thank you James Harris). The name has to reflect a stand-offish attitude because, really, this is one of the most stand-offish powers imaginable. No one would want to look at you lest they get caught in your stare of doom! <--- Literally the best sentence I have ever written.

Costume: Here's another one I'm stuck on. It would be dark gray (because everyone wears black and I would like to be the hipster of superhero costumes), and not nearly as slutty as some other costumes (I SEE YOUR DEEP V-NECK VIXEN! YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE WITH THOSE PANTS!). Other than that, I'm pretty lost. I would wear pants, because who wants their skirt blowing up while trying to look scary? But, I would definitely wear heels. They are a necessity when doing anything badass. I have no idea as to a logo, possibly just an eye? This is pretty up in the air as of right now, any suggestions are welcome.

I can't put a backstory on here because I would have to use my own name, and I'm not even sure I would want to be Daryn Orr and a superhero. If running around in tights was half my life, the other half hopefully wouldn't be going to high school and fighting with an ex-boyfriend (although, he could be my villain? but, sometimes he's nice so that's not an option. boy, are we complicated). I would want to be someone else entirely. New real name, new crazy origin. So let's skip!

Love Interest (because it has to be done): I would almost definitely go for Orion (by the way, this is off of the Justice League animated show, because I would want to be in their continuity, considering all of the crazy stuff going on at DC with this "new 52"). Yes, he's kind of a jerk, but you can see he cares. And having a bully on your side isn't a bad thing, especially when really bad guys are coming at you with really big guns. Besides, one of Orion's only lines is "Talk. While you still have a jaw." That is the definition of being badass.

Well, that's pretty much all I got. I just did this because a couple of my other posts on this blog were pretty deep, and I'm not just a crazy depressed angry chick all the time (not that anyone's looking at this who doesn't know me).

Wow, I write a lot of parentheses.

The Line Between Giving Up and Letting Go

I know some people (well...one person) that believes the difference between giving up on something and letting is go is:

NOTHING

For a while, I thought this way too. I mean, it's a pretty big line that not a lot of people see. Usually, we only see it when it's working against us.

For example, there was a girl who said some pretty mean things about me, in front of a lot of my friends. She didn't do this to be hurtful, she did it to be funny, and she got her fair share of crap for it that night. But I didn't see it that way. I thought to myself, how can I just give up my anger? How can I let her win like that, where she gets to laugh with the same people I laugh with, hang out with the same people I do, and not get it brought up once that maybe I'm the victim in this instance?

But I was wrong. I was dead wrong. My anger, my hatred for her and for the situation I was in, wasn't something to hold on to. It was something to feel in that moment, and after she apologized (which she did almost immediately after and I menacingly brushed off) I needed to let it go.

I seem to have that problem a lot. I blur that line almost consistently, but only when it's in my favor. I don't think I'm alone in that, but I think being wrong is what makes us human. We've always been defined by our mistakes.

Recently, though, I've seen another offender that blurs these lines. My ex (the one that pulled a drop-and-run on me before) also can't see the difference between giving someone up and letting them go.

I've made it pretty clear that we're done. I believe the break up was enough to show that. And, even though I was having doubts afterwards and he's a really good guy, we're going to stay apart. It's for the best, considering we can't talk on the phone for more than five minutes before one of us gets upset or ticked off. By this I mean he gets upset and I get ticked off. Really really ticked off.

But I digress. This ex-boyfriend of mine believes that the act of letting our relationship take its course is actually giving up on it. Now, I'm not sure how to convince him otherwise, or even if it's possible, but he seems adamant that he's right.

Unfortunately for him, I feel the opposite. And we're pretty stubborn people. So it comes into question, is he right? Is letting something die just simply giving up? And is this a bad thing in every case? If something is too far gone to be saved, shouldn't it then not be saved? 

I don't know what he thinks of himself. Hell, I'm a writer and sometimes I don't know what I think of him, either. But I know that if he were watching this play out on some crappy television movie (that I'm sure my life is made for) then I know almost for a fact he would yell, just like the rest of us, 

"Just let it go!"

Great Older Songs List (+why i love them)

This is in no particular order, because it would take me years to get that straight. Anyway, these are older 80s and early 90s songs that I am in love with, because I've been listening to them lately and music nowadays is all just rave crap!
-------------------------------------------

1. Boys of Summer by Don Henley
     One of my favorite songs ever. The lyrics are beautiful and somewhat sad while never losing that awesome beat. One of the greatest line in music history is "I thought I knew what love was/ What did I know/ Those days are gone forever/ I should just let them go but..." I never get tired of hearing this.

2. Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas
     Again, amazing lyrics paired with an awesome drum fill right off the bat make this song a classic. The chorus always makes me want to take on the world, and the switch from upbeat rock to semi-whispered voices create such an interesting vibe. This is a song that constantly gets stuck in my head and I will never complain about it.

3. Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar
     Love is a Battlefield is a song that is like a guilty pleasure. No one will admit they actually like the song, but everyone can belt out the words. Not to mention the crazy video that goes along with it. This was a fist-pumping song before fist-pumping songs existed, and it will always be an anthem for kids everywhere who just want to stick it to their parents.

4. Take On Me by A-Ha
     This song is amazing, and not just for the high notes. This is also one of my favorite songs and it is my favorite music video. The bright synth beats paired with the simple lyrics really strike a perfect chord with me for some reason. It's almost unexplainable how something so simple can mean so much, but this song does exactly that.

5. Come On Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners
     This song's beginning is extremely recognizable, and even if you've never heard it, you get the feeling that it's always been in your head after you listen for the first time. The lyrics, on the other hand, are extremely unrecognizable during verses, but the chorus comes out beautifully. This is a song you just want to smile and dance at, something simple to lift up your heart.

6. In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins
     Let's be clear. I knew and loved this song before The Hangover. This song is so dark and great that I can never pass up rocking out to it when the occasion arises. Plus, the drums in this song are spectacular.

7. Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds
     The movie this song goes to (The Breakfast Club) is my favorite movie hands down, and this song is even better for that fact. This song is great for it's clear message: don't forget about me. And that message is something everyone has felt.

----------------------------------
Well, those are all the big names I can think of right now, but there will probably be updates every now an then. Feel free to comment any others that you enjoy!

My Love Life (aka: Crazy Stories I'd Like to NEVER Relive)

Today I was ding-dong ditched by my ex-boyfriend.

Well, that's a statement I never thought I would say.

I had lent him two comic books, because I am obsessed with them and he wanted to read, and this was the point in our relationship when I thought we could still be post-breakup friends. This was also the point in our relationship when I was an idiot (correlation maybe?). Anyway, I had given him these comics to read and then things had blown up pretty bad. By "blow up" I mean he wanted to get back together and when I refused he turned back into a whiny and self-centered four year old that thinks a temper tantrum will get him exactly what he wants.

Obviously, it didn't. We hadn't spoken after I laid down the law for a few days, and today the door bell rings. As if it was a movie, I swing open the door just as I see his car rushing from my house. Puzzled and a little bit infuriated, I look down and what do I see?

My two comic books. "A Killing Joke" by the wonderful Alan Moore and "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader" by the also fantastic Neil Gaiman. There was also this note:

Thank You.

Really? You can try to force me back into being your slave of a girlfriend but you can't look me in the eye long enough to hand me a comic book? At this point, I am fuming and I pick up the note. It smells so strongly of his cologne I am almost 100% positive he sprayed it separately. Like one of those love-crazed girls whose man has gone to war, so they spray letters with perfume before they send them. Exactly like that.

People have this uncanny ability to be hypocrites. We freak out to anyone who will listen about how crazy our lives are, how confusing our problem is, how un-fixable our dilemma has become. But do we ever want to solve it? My ex and I dated for 8 months, which means he must know at least one thing about me, and that thing is probably that I think avoiding confrontation is sometimes (if not always) cowardly. If you want to do something, my motto is, you have to do it. So he created a bigger problem by running from my house, and he had to have known that, yet he still created that problem.

Do we ever want to solve anything, or do we just want someone to listen to us complain?

Intro

Since I created a blog not too long ago that is specifically for writing ideas and tidbits of story, I wanted to write some stuff a little more personal. From the heart, I guess, though that's where all of my writing comes from. I haven't told any of my friends about this site (whether that will ever happen is still up in the air) because I wanted to be free. There's no one watching, which means there are no preconceived notions of who I am and what I'm supposed to say. It's like looking in a mirror for your soul, and that's kind of nice for a change.

My name is Daryn, and that's about all I know about myself, other than the fact that I want to be a writer someday. Now, I'm not living in fantasy land with this dream of mine. I have a plan and goals set along the way, so I don't end up starving on a street corner with a little cardboard sign that says "I just followed my dream and the road ends here" (I think I'd make some money off of that one!). I want to go to the University of Arizona, so I can major in English and minor in Creative Writing. From there, I want to start work at a publishing company and work my way up to an assistant editor, since they work directly with manuscripts and hopeful writers. Throughout this process, I could try and ghostwrite for autobiographers, and gain a little money off of that, as well as working on my own stories that I could turn in to my company. Maybe they'd help me out considering they would know me.

Anyway, this is just a dream. A longshot, fantastic, optimistic, scary as hell dream that I hope I never wake up from.